to live a better live...
is to trust in ones self...
and to see the least of things...
to actually see the most of things...

what little hope there is....
when the sign is so big...
what little accomplished...
when all road I have taken...

when all those fail...
I am left nothing but despair...
when all good turn bad...
it is all done and not rewindable...

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas!!!
I also want a present...
how about you???

^.^ =D

Christmas Eve

it is Christmas eve!!!
what kind of present should i ask???
oh my, wonder if santa even know it...
cause i don't even know...haha

Happy Christmas Eve Everyone!!!

i'm sure she notice it...
well, girls are good at this...
i should watch my steps now...
before it turns into disastrous...

life is just like this to most...
just getting to find the one...
the one where the life hope most...
the one where will become the only one...

being jealous is the complication...
but what to feel if not jealous???
take steps to prevent this complication...
killing ties is the job of jealous...

when i am out of words....
what should i do???

when i am out of actions...
what should i do???

when i am out of thoughts...
what should i do???

what is really the best???
best for you and me???
where none of the present broken...
where none of the past erased???

i have always wondered...
if not doing a thing about it was a choice???
or was it just me too afraid???
afraid that it will be a last choice made???

relationship are just so complicated...
you thought there was something...
but in the end is you imagining...
you thought you are imagining...
yet because of this you miss the something...

i too have it...
and i dun know what to do with it...
so i just evade it...
just hoping the answer comes with it...
when the time do not let me hide from it...

I look around and noticed...
I only have the little friends...
the few which I can share...
share everything and not worry...

so and so made me wondered...
can't I have more friends???
why can't I just open all to share???
maybe I just too much to worry???

now I know what I am afraid of...
the things which I thought nothing of...
the things which I hide from everyone of...
is the things that I am afraid of losing of...

every person I encounter...
only a few I choose...
this are the things I am afraid of...
to lost forever the relation...

sitting staring at nothing...
just thinking something that means nothing...
i should begin to think of something...
yet the brain will think of nothing but nothing...

dream is what you want and hate most...
it comes and goes with or without you telling...
that is what i hate about dream the most...
it just come tells you about everything...

in the end you earn of nothing...
but the false hope of it being a reality...
so what is there good about dreaming???
maybe just that moment of being happy...

rain...
enjoying the splash of rain...
forgetting the rain of my face...
just want to remember the reason of the rain...

why is there rain???
why must we experience the feeling of rain???
so heavy till it wet my lace...
and slowly hitting me down with droplet of rain...

the things are slowing down...
the same as i was feeling down...
nothing can be as down as this...
except the bottom of my feelings...

looking for the one...
just seems to go to no end...
when thought i saw the end...
it was just the beginning again for the one...

jealousy, it killed me...
after months, i rise...
thought everything was in hand of mine...
yet again it got a better of me...

what is the danger of it???
it is just a piece of feeling...
but a piece of omnipresent feeling...
as an omniscience companion of ominous heart...

the way to a victory...
fun for some...
yet troublesome to some...
which view is the righteous one???
no one can the absolute...
but one thing is for sure...
victory is fun-filled-some...

I.....
like to sit and do nothing...
like to sit and stare to the sky...
find sitting and do nothing is better than playing...
just love the world where nothing bothers...

a star blinks in the darkest night...
trying to show that it has might...
definitely it is a beautiful sight...
but still it is nothing more than a light...

trying to be of what you are not...
is what you and I always sought...
in the end it is just an ordinary thought...
I am I, You are You what counts is the different dot...

so happens the things that happen in front of me...
will just never, never did happen to me...
so what is the good thing about being me???
i will never know about it cause no one is me other than me...

it seems as if things were new...
but actually nothing was anew-ed...
it is still just a tiny hope tingling...
nothing more than a hold of an ant...

yes, this is definitely a Deja-vu...
thing that other had experience...
now it is my turn to taste...
a turn to change the path of life...

中秋节~

今天月亮圆又圆。。。
在中秋节我没缘。。。
只有我与我之厌。。。
应我是离她太远。。。

when did i actually decided to do this???
when was it that it all happened???
feeling so frustrating because of all this...
just when i thought all is okay and nothing happened...

why am i treating people like this???
this should never had happened in the first place...
it was never to be like this...
so just why am i here where i am now???

i dun know what to find...
just where to find???
when there is nothing to find...
and i just cannot say i am fine....

meaning behind meaning 1,1;1,3;1,5....

like as i sitting, enjoying the waves hitting,
she enjoyed the nature sound jumbled always illustrative...

meaning behind meaning 1,1;2,1;3,1;4,1;1,1;2,1;3,1;4,1

Like a dove flying over head...
Flying, ignoring all there is at the bottom...
From top everything just look so little...
It's like the world is at your hand...

Every little bit of me now just want to fly..
Fly, never again think of this things...
I really just want not to have this again...
It's just because I cannot take it anymore...

there I lose again...
there I'm sad again...
there I'm speechless again...
there I fall again...

again and again...
like a video got reversed again...
it had to happen again...
but why me again...
sighing again...
dumbfounded again...
gazing to sky again...
hope it will end again...

o well...repeat as it may...
i have to learn to stay...
staying here with all the hay...
which break my fall from the day...

i always have the same thing to say...
when everything don't seem to pay...
and every time i have to be at bay...
yet i will try my best to be okay...

how long has it been...
all of it i have seen...
though small as a bean,
i still need to lean...

staying as low as i may...
expression has all to say...
as it passes day by day...
i'm still here to stay...

oh yes i'm a fool...
always going in the pool...
choosing the wrong string to pull...
breaking down to a kneel...

an advise from a unknown person...
how much will the person listen to the person???
guess it really means nothing to the person...
but it is sad that advise is not taken from the person...

why do people desperately ask for things???
when those answers are there for the things...
to clear on mind about things???
definitely not, as all is clear about things...

i have nth to say already...
nth i say will have effect really...
but because of this i'm quite surely...
that the things i get will be so much more wholely...

remembering those time...
time where this just settle down...
yes, all was perfect...
but then, dun know what happen...
maybe God wants to give me something...
something better...
I dun know how good it is...
but I do miss the times...

which one is more likely to kill you?

live without her voice?
day without seeing her?
memory without her?
moment without forgetting her?
heart that will not let go?
brain that keep remember?
or just plain her?

how much can a person not know?
how much can a person not see?
how much can a person not think?
how much can a person not understand?

how much truth can a person know?
how far can a person see?
how many possibilities that can be think?
yet how deep can a person understand?

to lose or to gain?
to accept or to deny?
to remember or to forget?

to see or not to see?
to move or just blindly stare?
to hate or just plain friendly?

nothing of the above I can do...
for nothing favours me...
so i just do what i do best...
to disappear from that kind soul...

another rainy day...
looking up i say...
please lead me the way...
i have gone astray...

here on earth i lay...
just wanting to see the ray...
and hope to just get away...
so everything may just be okay...

clam my hands on the head...
squeeze it until blood flow...
from the nose, eyes, ears and mouth...
making the eye balls pop....
leaving 2 hollow slots...
the eye balls tingling just on par with the nose...
the ears then flush out the insides...
the brain liquid slowly coming out from the nose...
the mouth quickly form bubbles....

yuck...disgusting....hahaha...dun imagine...opps...too late....

stare into the sky on a rainy day,
it has all that I want to say...
I want to have a place to lay,
where I can just forget the day...

the sun come with its ray,
all pain nicely hidden by hay...
question all the pain as you may,
but it will be hidden when there is ray...

with the wind I sat at the bay,
with the problem in my way...
what can I do to give it a pay,
for that second to leave it at bay...

ever wonder why the life is like this???
ever wonder why love is called love???
ever wonder why friends form friendship???
ever wonder why hatred just destroy it all??

all the answers is in your self...
all the answers must be answered by self...
all the answers are formed by self...
all the answers should ONLY come from the heart within our self....

bodoh bodoh bodoh...
itu sahaja saya boleh cakap...
memangnya bodoh untuk untuk cakap itu...
buat apa kata orang lain???
padahal diri yang tidak faham...
faham akan perangai orang lain...
faham akan masalah orang lain...
faham akan situasi orang lain...
faham la akan rakan orang lain...

really why are humans like this??
just why can't they understand???
understand that this friends is important???
for a stupid reasons like this you let go...
then what more can people around do to help???
nothing nothing just nothing others can do...
ignorance should be the word...
yet it is just plain wanting to win...
win a stupid war to prove nothing...
nothing but sadness...

makna belakang makna

Yang buruk dibuang sahaja...
simpan dalam hati apa yang mahu...
nanti habis asingkan rasa rindu pula...

banyak sayang akan saya sebenarnya...
aku sedang nangis kerana itu...
tapi kenapa saya tidak mahu lepaskannya???

meaning behind meaning 1,1;1,2;1,3...

life often wonders....

yours indeed natural...

yes, everything, everywhere...

意义中的意义

流水如我心，
我影有我悲，
悲伤移何处？
到地无我知。
可我怕得很...
我的心伤之，
期望新开始，
望鹰在天飞...
你却在到处...
不可以失去，
但要我慢忘...
就如打开墙。
要把悲换新...
就找喜因素...
可没你我伤，
心的伤我埋...
笑着度过生...

meaning behind meaning 5,1;5,9;6,2;6;8;7,3;7,7;8,4;8,6;9,5

All of this shall be coming to end soon...
If can, I will forever keep this is memory...
wondered if you can be here in this memory...
expected for the worst yet in the heart unwilling...
Love every second that passes in this life everyday...
looking out to the sky wondering of everything happened...
I always wondered that with a yogurt in hand...
And always the yogurt will never last till end...
So in the end i will forever be wondering...

Again...meaning behind meaning...1,1;2;2...5,5;6,4;...9,1

life is an amazing video...
full of replays yet unexpected...
slowly everything will look so terrible...
maybe Almighty wants you to learn...
or maybe sculpting off ice that are not nice...
what look like new may not be new...
some others your age may have had it...
don't ever close your eyes to this problems...
even when the problem is like endless...

I saw the replay in my life...
awful thing it was to look at it...
price of a thought was the price for the fault...
will that wanted things was the fault...
chilled by the thought was the replay...
HE knew this will happen...
oh yes, I always believed HE knows...
thought I was right, was wrong...
thought at least I had a chance but that was also a replay...
waiting, difficulty of it was beyond me...
so I just go for it and this is the result...
again another replay, stupid stupid is the only word...
so, guy like me just have to step aside and give way to HIM...

tired tired tired....
really tired to the bones....
but what can i do???
nothing more than just look...

thought it was a new beginning...
yet it was just a replay...
a replay that was worst than before...
yet still better than before...

previous was a no no friend...
now at least i'm quite sure is a friend...
yet what is happening in front...
is not really what i'm fond...

hatiku pilu kerana mu...
tidak ada lagi makna bagi ku...
untuk mengharapkan mu...
kerana kamu bukan dalam pangkuan ku...

dari mula saya tahu...
saya tidak akan dapat kamu...
tetapi saya masih mahu...
akibat saya sedih kerana kamu...

那时刻是多么的奇，
奇至不知从哪儿起，
是从那一分一秒起，
所想吃作为都变奇...

应该是那一刻变吧！
把我的铁心溶了吧！
可我不知控制己吧...
就是这样失去你吧...

我可有多么的蠢啊！
那一刻忘不了的啊！
应没一刻比得上啊...
就时时刻刻记了啊...

我想了想，
为何还在想？
到底有什么想？
可最底只能是想...

没完没了，
想了多久了？
成果是怎么了？
也是的没完没了...

为何在做？
别的不用做？
还是懒得不做？
她不明我的所做...

taking a bath,
water flowing down,
down the head,
feel the cool,
bit the teeth,
wash away depress,
born anew again,

yet memories stay,
peace moments gained,
soul was slain-ed,
medium always stay,
cannot put away,
but memory bank...

nothing is more nothing than nothing...
is there more nothing than nothing???
i suppose is to get nothing when comes something...
and that something was to fill the nothing...

guess nothing is good for nothing...
yet some say nothing is good for nothing...
so which nothing is the real nothing???
when nothing can become nothing...

I say I'm thinking of nothing...
yet that nothing is really something...
but nothing can describe that something...
so from something it became nothing...

thought is was a new beginning...
yet it was a disaster waiting to strike...
why is it always that my choice is so bad???
is it the reality or it is just me???

why must it be another playback???
why cannot it be what i want it to be???
why why why why...
the answer will never come i guess...

it still linger in my mind...
though it is all mine...
i have no control of this part of mind...
but yet no doubt it is my mine...

amazingly i still remember it...
those moment that tested my limit...
those moment that will last...
it is still in there with all of it...

it is really stupid of me to still remember...
but i cannot tell my self to forget...
so i shall just let it be...
wait till it slowly fades...

when weariness comes i sleep...
hope it to be go and gone...
yet nothing change after the sleep...
for the mind cannot let it go...

so plain yet so meaningful...
so dull yet so amazing...
so small yet so perfect...
so thin yet so lasting...

this is the thing everyone is searching...
it will appear early or late...
and its presence will not be felt...
unless you open your mind to it...

flow flow flow...
the river shall not stop...
till the ocean it flows...
where it all seem cold...
yet true loneliness does not show...
cause can never be seen by eyes but the soul..

tears flow when i stand there alone...
thinking was enough for me...
singing make it come...
yet nothing can be done...

though the singing no one can hear,
yet new lyric will forever come,
none can be heard by outsider,
for it will be meaningful to others outside...